I find it hard to put every words in this post into coherent sentences, everything sounded better in my head, but I'll let it out anyway.

One of the hardest but the most beautiful thing I ever did in my life is when I decided to fully wear tudung. It wasn't a very easy decision, I spent a lot of time thinking about it, understanding the rationale behind it, and the reason why us, Muslim women should cover up.

I went online and find many inspiring stories about hijab transformation that every other girls have made and somehow I feel that I can relate to each and every story i've read.

Wearing tudung is not an alien thing to me, I've been wearing them since I was 13 years old, when I went to High school, and even after school when I was in College, but I wasn't fully understand the purpose of wearing it so I took it lightly, I wear them whenever I feel like wearing, and took them off as i please.

Not a good thing, I know.

Everything changed when my sister, my cousin and I were talking one day, we were flipping through magazine looking at beautiful models wearing cute dress with nice long flowy hair and cute make up and we were admiring the models. All of the sudden my cousin says something that totally change my perspective towards tudung.

" Takpe, cantik kat dunia je, tak cantik dekat akhirat" simple but so powerful - a word that comes from someone that is way younger than me.

I admit, vanity is one of the reason why I find it so hard for me to cover up. I mean, who doesn't want to look good, to be attractive and I had the mentality that with tudung, you don't look attractive anymore.

I was wrong, again.

I'm glad that i take this route, I can feel that im nearer to Him. I feel liberated and free, and of course there are times that i succumb to temptations but so far i manage to control it, Alhamdulillah. I just hope that i can inspire others to do the same, InsyaAllah.

Wish me luck and pray for me :)